Welcome to Harper’s Cinematic Adventures! I’ve switched some things around, but don’t worry. I’m just as snarky as ever. I can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve done a review. What the hell have I been doing?
Manly obsessing about Marble Hornets… yeah… I should probably start obsessing about something else.
Well, on to the review!
There is just something creepy about mirrors.
I’m not sure what it is, but mirrors have always creeped me out. Especially when they are in horror movies. You just know that the character is going to look away at some point and their reflection will still be looking straight forward. Or they’ll walk past a mirror and someone (or thing) is following them but when they turn around… dun dun dun! there’s nothing there!!
So Oculus comes out and I’m all for a scary movie about mirrors! Yay!
Except… that it isn’t scary. And the story is more confusing than anything. And there really needed more backstory. And that’s not really something people say about movies.
“Hey, you know what this movie really needs? Exposition.”
Yeah, no one says that.
So Oculus is about siblings Amy Pond and Prince Phillip (Karen Gillan and Brenton Thwaites to those who don’t get the references). Phillip has just been released from the mental ward after … um … 10 years of getting over killing their father. And in these 10 years, he has gotten so much better. He has come to terms with the guilt and is ready to get out there and start living again.
But Amy has other plans. You see, in these 10 years, she has done lots of research about a creepy mirror that their father had purchased before his untimely demise. Apparently this mirror has been at the center of numerous over suspicious deaths and yet no one else has ever correlated them before Amy. It doesn’t help that she believes this mirror was the reason her father went crazy and killed their mother right before Phillip killed him.
So she has the plan to take her newly released crazy brother and hole up in the murder house all while documenting the crazy that the mirror causes.
Sounds like an excellent plan in which nothing could go wrong.
You might ask, “Harper, what’s the deal? I thought you liked scary movies? You just seem to be taken the punch out of this one.”
Well, faithful reader, I am. I was informed that this was one of the creepiest movies that had come out in a long time. And it wasn’t. It was very procedural. The only unique thing about it was the weird time-twisting narration. (Those Ponds have a thing for time travel, huh? *cough* Doctor Who *cough*) Even the gore wasn’t enough to quease me out. Sure the staple remover surgery got a reaction, but that was it. I guessed the light bulb fake out way before it happened. And even the end wasn’t a shock.
I’ve just been very disappointed with horror movies of late and I thought just maybe I’d find a gem. But it was just another bit of filth in a sea of waste.
So, I guess I wouldn’t really recommend it. But, hey, I’m not the boss of you. Go and do your thing and watch whatever you want.